Summer Lovin'
by talkswithherhands
Summary: Liley! They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder. FEED THE BARD! Read and Review plz! WARNING: Mature content, language, sex scenes and bodily harm are involved in this story. Ye Be Warned!
1. Make It Last Forever

**Disclaimer:** I OWN NOTHING!! Zip, Zilch, Nada, ZERO! Get it? Got it? GOOD!!!**  
A/N: **Okay, seeing as how I got so many WONDERFUL reviews for my last story, I figured I'd go ahead and write an even longer story this time, and yes, as much as it truly DOES pain me to chop it up for the fans, I'm making the same deal for you all... More reviews.. the faster the chapters will come along... but even I cant hold back for so long, so FEED THE BARD!!

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_Standin' on your Mama's porch_

_you told me that it'd last forever_

_oh and when ya held my hand_

_I knew that it was now or never_

_Those were the best days of _

_my life_ -Bryan Adams "Summer of 69"

I always thought that the California sunset was one of the most beautiful sights ever to be seen, if you havent seen it then I deffinitely suggest doing so before your time on the planet is up, I thought silently as I watched the Malibu red sun fade onto the Pacific Ocean, the reflection making it sparkle and dazzle like diamonds on the glassy surface. My two best friends in the whole world, Oliver "Smokin" Oaken and Miley Stewart, were at my side, watching along with me, the silence in the air rather uncomfortable and tension so thick you could hack through it with a chainsaw. Today would be our very last day together as the Malibu trio, we'd graduated High School two months ago and now our final summer was dwindling to a close...

Oliver would be leaving tommorow for New York to start an internship at a fashion studio, yes, our Oliver had decided to make clothes, womens clothes. I couldn't help but smirk at how it had all begun when Miley put the poor boy through several hours of manicures and designs that time we had a fight about gym class. _Miley_, I tried to hold back the tears that stung at the back of my eyes at the thought that not only was Oliver leaving, so was my best friend, the girl who I had been steadily falling in love with for the past three years, and yet, here I was, unable to tell her anything, tommorow she would be finishing up her record label and then joining Kelly Clarkson on a year long tour in Europe in which Miley would take the time to decide if she wanted to continue being Hannah or go to school. Jackson would be staying behind, as he was already in his junior year at Berkeley, the same place I would be headed at the end of the week to start my education... my new life, a life without my two buds at my side.

"Well ladies, I hate to break up this very sad reunion, but my mom just texted me, I have to get going, early flight tommorow,"Oliver said sullenly, standing up, a slouch in his shoulders that told the world he wasn't happy. Miley and I stood in tandem with him and we all gave each other a large group hug, I felt the tears threaten to spill as my throat tightened and I had to gasp for air.

"We'll miss you Oliver, you take care up there, New York City is crazy,"Miley smiled softly, patting Oliver on the shoulder, I could tell he was fighting the urge not to cry.

"Well I'll miss you guys, too, 'specially you, Miles cause you aren't gonna be home this Christmas,"Oliver said. I turned away as I wiped the errant tear from my cheek, it hurt even more to know that I wouldn't even get to see her for my holiday breaks. We said our last goodbyes to Oliver, giving him kisses on the cheek before he turned away sadly and headed home. The sky was beginning to darken as the sun slipped further away beneath the sea, I sighed and stared at it lonely, afraid to see Miley's face because I knew in a few moments I'd have to say goodbye to her as well, I felt my heart grow heavy with dread and anxiety, my stomach was in knots and I could hardly breathe.

"Lilly..."she whispered my name and I shut my eyes against the onslaught of tears. "Lilly, we have to go,"Miley whispered in her best 'it'll all be alright' voice, but I could tell she was just trying to be nice as the dinstinct hitch in her voice gave away her sadness. I felt her hand rest on my shoulder and without a second thought I whipped around and pulled Miley to me in a bone-crushing hug, burying my face in the crook of her neck, breathing in the soft tropical scent of her shampoo and that lovely husked scent that was pure Miley. Her arms wrapped around me and rubbed my back comfortingly, a warmth spreading through my limbs like wildfire as I let the sobs wrack my body, I felt a dampness on my own shoulder and realized that she must be crying as well. _Oh, Miley_.

I released her just a little bit to wipe away the tears that were collecting in her vibrant eyes and staining that beautiful round face, she gave me a weak smile and I cupped her cheek, staring, our eyes locked and neither of us moved. The tears made her diamond blue eyes so glassy I could see my own reflection among them, it took me a mere moment to notice that our noses were touching and our breaths mingling.

"Miley-"I whispered faintly, like a prayer on the wind.

The world dissolved as Miley closed the distance between us and I felt the current of electricity flow through her lips onto my own. So soft, unbelievably soft, it was like kissing satin, or silk. I felt her tongue sweep my bottom lip and I couldn't contain the moan that escaped the back of my throat as I granted her entrance and she swallowed it, our tongues began to gently rub and then became ferocious in battle, dueling for dominance until I felt my lungs begin to burn and the need for air made me break the kiss. I breathed in deeply and kept my eyes shut, pressing my forehead to Miley's, I heard her gasp involuntarily before I opened my eyes to see her backing away from me fearfully.

"Miley-?"

"Lilly, I-I dont, I'm so sorry...,"she had tears welling up again and I felt my heart clench, _she didn't mean to kiss me... she doesn't feel the same way, she's straight and I just destroyed our friendship.._

"Miley.. please, wait,"I begged. But it was too late, she was gone, running away from me as fast as those legs could carry her, I knew if I chased her I could catch up with her but it was getting late and I knew it would be pointless, I had just ruined the best thing in my entire life. I felt the tears begin to choke me as I fell to the sand and cried, I dont know how long I was there when my phone buzzed and I answered in a hoarse voice,

"Hello?"

"Lillian, where are you? You need to be home, its dark,"my mother scolded. _Just like her, I'm friggin eighteen and I still cant stay out past my old curfew_, I nodded before I realized that my mom couldn't see me, a fact for which I was grateful.

"Sorry mom, I just- Miley needed help packing... I'll be home in a few minutes,"I tried to keep my voice steady and I thanked God when she approved of my white lie and I hung up.

_No use crying over spilt milk, Truscott, whats done is done, Miley is gone and I doubt she'll ever come back to Malibu now, _I dont remember how I managed but the next thing I knew I was home, the kitchen was dark, my mom had already gone to bed, I went upstairs and changed into my pajamas and I was in my bed, it was cold, not exactly the temperature, but my entire body was just cold... the pain began to twist like a knife into my heart as I thought of Miley's fearful face and how she ran, warm tears leaked down my face, making me feel vulnerable, lost, _alone_. I cried there silently into my pillow, muffling my sobs and slight whimpers, my body ached from the exertion and finally, around midnight, I found myself in a deep, uneasy slumber.

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**A/N:** -dodges ripe tomatoes and dirty monkey- EEP! Hey, be nice to the monkies! They have feelings! Now... feed me some reviews if you want another chapter!!


	2. Reflection

**A/N:** Okay, to make things clear, yes there is a lot of similarities from my other story, Happy Ending? this is my REVISED version in a matter of speaking, for a few of my fans who wanted to see a bit more drama and passion, this story is it. So keep reading and keep the reviews coming!! Here's chapter 2!

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_Who is that girl I see_

_Starin straight back at me?_

_When will my reflection show_

_who I am inside?_ -Christina Aguileria "Reflection"

The ongoing sirens of a police car were the first signs to wake me up on this early Saturday morning, I groaned as I opened a bleary eye and noticed my damn roommate had left the window open, the car passed by our dormitory and the sirens grew louder, my roommate continued to snooze, that girl could sleep through a friggin train wreck, I got up from under my warm sheets and shivered in my blue spaghetti strap tank top and grey shorts, despite the warm spring air that was flowing through the room and slammed the window shut, I rubbed my eyes painfully against the sun that beamed through our single dorm window and lowered the shades a bit before glancing at the clock and noticing it was nearly noon, _Shit!_

I paced around grabbing my work uniform, black slacks and a white blouse, pocketing my keys, wallet and cell phone, I ran out the door, pulling my hair into a sloppy bun, I had ten minutes to get across campus to the local coffee shop and clock in. My phone began to ring and I silenced it, noticing that it was Oliver calling, I sent him a text as I ran across the grounds and crossed the street, barely dodging traffic, that I would call him later.

"Truscott, you're late,"my boss, Cheyenne glared at my back as I ran through the back entrance and clocked my name in, breathing heavily.

"Sorry, Chey', my roommate shut off my alarm,"I lied. Cheyenne rolled her green eyes, hardly believing me but twisted around,

"Just get out there and do your job before I'm forced to fire you, and I dont wanna do that, you're too damn good at selling coffee,"I grinned as Cheyenne gave a small smirk and went to help a customer.

I was tying my apron around my waist when my eyes were suddenly blocked by two warm hands.

"Guess who?"I sighed at the soft voice in my ear.

"Uhm, lets see, it wouldn't possibly be my girlfriend that stood me up on a date last night?"I asked, smirking. I turned and there stood my girlfriend of four months, Marina, a junior here in Berkeley and a Government-Politics Major, in all her beautiful coffee-waitress glory. Her auburn hair pulled back into a set of pigtails and her crystal blue eyes batting sad looks at me, a hand on her hip,

"I told you I was sorry, my brother needed a ride to his game and I couldn't say no, you know how them jocks are,"she smirked.

"_Those_ jocks,"I corrected self-satisfied as I grabbed a set of mocha shots and took them to a couple that Cheyenne had pointed to, Marina tailing behind me.

"Okay, Miss English Major, what can I do to make it up to you?"Marina pouted, I laughed and continued to deliver orders.

"There isn't much you can do, Spring Break is a week from now and I'm going home, you can always make it up to me _after_ break,"I smiled seductively. Marina whined,

"Why do you have to make me wait? C'mon babe, stay here with me for Spring break, I promise to make it worth your while,"she whispered huskily in my ear and I shuddered, as I bent down to grab a pint of milk and began mixing together a set of frappuccinos.

"Not a chance, I stayed here for Christmas because you wanted to _make it worth my while_, and you wound up going home to Detroit,"I accused.

"My parents bought me a plane ticket without my knowlege, I couldn't just refuse them after they spent so much money. C'mon babe, I'm not leaving for Spring Break, my brother is even staying because he has to train some new freshman for next seasons soccer tryouts,"Marina whined.

"I dont think so, I'm going home, my mom wasn't happy that I stayed here over Christmas and New Years, I'm not missing Easter, and my friend Oliver is flying in from New York so I'll get to see him again, too,"I explained.

"Well, if you wont stay, then maybe... _I_ could go with you,"she smiled. I dropped the shot glass to the counter and it spilled a small portion of the whiskey.

"Damnit,"I swore under my breath and started to clean. "Marina, you know I cant bring you with me, my mom isn't too keen on my sexuality in the first place, if I brought you home, she'd possibly die,"I lied, my mom had been very understanding of my choice and had decided that I couldn't bring any girlfriends home without having approved it first. It wasn't that I was ashamed of Marina, but sometimes she could be a bit..._eccentric_ about her own sexuality, her dorm room was covered in Gay Pride memorabilia, not to mention posters of Ellen, Melissa Etheridge and K.D. Lang, she was the most optimum pride about showing off her sexuality, she even wore a female symbol around her neck, pink triangle dangling earrings and a ring set with colorful rainbow stones set into the silver band on her left ring finger that matched the one on my own that she'd given me the night of our first date, she was going into politics, hoping to become the first female gay president.

"Lilly, c'mon, bring me home, I promise to behave,"she whispered seductively, trailing a finger up my forearm, causing goosebumps to rise. I shivered,

"I'll think about it, but I cant promise you anything yet,"I said sternly and turned away to deliver the fresh coffee.

"_Hey there, pretty lady, hows it?_"Oliver's rich voice answered on the second ring as I called him on the way back to my dorm room.

"Hey Ollie, you called earlier? How's life in the Big Apple?"I sighed, sometimes I was so jealous that Oliver was living in New York, I'd always wanted to live in the city, I remember that one year Miley had gone as Hannah to Times Square for a concert on New Years..._No, stop it Truscott, you wont think about her..._

"_Pretty nifty, actually, its raining right now so the entire street I'm on is getting a break from the stench of the Mountain O'Trash, and I'm actually getting some of my models ready for a show, I called to see if you were coming home next week?_"he fumbled, I heard loud noise behind him as he tried to do something, then I heard a flirtatious voice over the line tell Oliver something about watching his hands and his laugh.

"Yeah, I'm comin' home, I'll be leaving Friday after classes, I should be home Friday night,"I answered with a sigh as I heard Oliver flirt with another one of the models.

"_Thats great, Lils, well I guess I'll see ya Sunday, my flight is Saturday afternoon, you bringin your little woman?_"he asked and I glowered, even though I knew he couldn't see me.

"Marina isn't my little woman, Oliver, she's my _girlfriend,_"I snapped.

"_Touchy, touchy, either way, ya bringin her? Cause ya know, I got room at my place if your mom decides to throw ya'll out,_"I could almost see his smug grin and I wanted to wipe it off of his face.

"Yeah, then you'd have to deal with her violent mood swings that she gets around perverted men who like to watch lesbians make out,"I gave a cheesy grin as I mentally watched Oliver's smile fall off of his face.

"_Right...erm, well, I gotta run, see ya'll next week!_"I laughed as I heard the line click and go dead. I shut my phone and unlocked my door, I was thankful to see an empty room, my roommate, Angela had left and now I could have a bit of my own time, I opened the window and turned on my iPod on its docking station to shuffle, and immediately Counting Crows began blaring from my speakers as I went into the bathroom and got into a pair of well-worn jeans and a grey Volcom t-shirt, I pulled on my matching Hurley cap and took my hair down from its bun. I grabbed my wristband and pulled it over my rather scarred right arm, as I slid it over the raised white marks along the skin, I felt the burn in my stomach and a knife twist into my gut as my mind drifted back to that day on the beach,

_"I-I didn't mean, I'm so sorry, Lilly,"_I screwed my eyes shut from the onslaught of tears that tried to make their way to the surface of my eyelids. _Stop it, stop thinking about it, she's gone, you have someone who cares about you, someone who loves you..._

_...But she's not, Miley_...

"Miley,"I wiped at the errant tear that ran down my cheek as I stared at my reflection in the mirror. Who was I? I hardly remembered anymore, the day that Miley left was the day I lost my heart, my being, my reason to even go on. It wasn't that I was afraid of bringing Marina home, I knew my mother would approve of her, but the problem was I couldn't get _myself_ to approve. My head had told me that I should move on and be happy that I have someone who takes such good care of me... My heart was screaming that Marina could never mend the pieces of my shattered soul that Miley had left behind that day on the beach.

I saw the razor sitting there on the sink and I grasped the cool metal beneath my fingers, I couldn't stop my hands from shaking as I pulled my wristband off and I pressed the sharp object into my skin, slicing a thin line across the several others that I'd done for everytime I thought of Miley Stewart. I cried harder, and felt a sigh of relief escape me as my own blood trickled from the blade and into the sink, the pain beginning to seep into my arm that was slowly bleeding from the small incision, I turned on the faucet to clean the wound that was now an angry red, I applied a bit of aloe ointment and then a small bandage before I covered it up with my wristband again. I felt my sobs lessen and I took a shaky breath as I stared into the mirror, unable to see who this girl that stared back at me was. I pulled out my contacts as they bothered my eyes after having cried, washed my face and put on my old dorky glasses. Remembering when I used to be so ashamed of wearing them in High School, and how Miley had helped me to see that I shouldn't be ashamed as she came out in front of everyone on the top of that studio building as Hannah Montana and showed the world a blown up view of herself with a nasty zit on her face. I shut my eyes tight again as I went into my room and got into a pair of sneakers,

_Stop thinking about her, Truscott, you have Marina, you're happy and in love..._

_BULLSHIT!_ her heart screamed. I shut it up as I silenced my iPod station and glanced at my watch, I had gotten Marina off of my back after agreeing to meet her for an early dinner. I grabbed my jacket and headed out the door, making up my mind and determined to make things work better between us, to rid my thoughts of Miley once and for all.

--x--


	3. Ch Ch Changes

**A/N:** -Peeks head out from behind computer screen- Okay... I know you hate me for leaving you with all these cliffhangers believe me it drives me nuts as well but I'm updating as fast as I can, you feed me reviews, I'll feed you more fiction. -Dodges banana-...Chapter three! -waves white flag-

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_If I cut my hair if I changed my clothes_

_would ya notice me?_

_If I bite my lip if I say hello_

_would ya notice me?_

_Whats it gonna take for you to see?_

_And get you to notice me?_ -Disney Channel's Pixel Perfect Soundtrack

Friday afternoon was here at last and I was on the phone with my mother while packing up.

"_Lillian, dear you know I'm not in the mood for surprises-_"my mother's stern voice warned me through the connection as I fought with the zippers on my bag.

"Mom, you just have to trust me, I'm bringing somebody home with me and I want you to be nice,"I hissed as my finger got caught in the bag. I swore under my breath.

"_Alright honey, but I just hope you know what you're doing... Listen, there is something else I need to discuss..._"I heard a knock at the door.

"Can it wait? Marina's at the door, I'll see you tonight, mom, bye!"I clicked my phone shut and answered the door, Marina stood there with a bright smile on her face, bag shouldered, looking magnificent in her strappy black heels, blue jeans and black v-neck shirt, her auburn hair pulled up into a french twist, she leaned in and kissed me. I gave her a small smile and welcomed her in.

"I see your roomie didn't take anytime to get outta here,"Marina noticed Angela's side of the room which had looked like a twister ran through it, she'd been just leaving out the door when I got back from my final class.

"Yup, I just got offa the phone with mom, she's setting up everything to accomodate you-"I said swiftly and immediately regretted it as I noticed Marina's nostrils flare. If there was one thing Marina couldn't stand it was the ignorance and intolerance of people who didn't understand that gay relationships were just as normal as a man and a woman.

"I take it I'm sleeping on the couch, then?"she asked, she was biting her tongue and I knew that she wanted to bad mouth my mother, I was grateful she didn't because I was already feeling anxious bringing her home with me.

"Guest room, and before you can say anything, she would do the exact same thing if you were a guy, so you shouldn't be upset, she just doesn't want us to fool around in the house, I respect her choices, she respects mine, you should, too,"I spoke clearly. Marina sighed and wrapped her arms around me,

"Well, I'm not happy about it, but I'm certain that if your mom is anything like you, I'll be sleeping in your room by tommorow night,"she grinned and lowered her head to nip at my neck, I squirmed away, with a gleeful smile, my neck was always so sensitive and she knew it, I finished packing and she helped me lug my things to my car, a 2004 silver Mustang GT convertable, one of my very few pride and joy expensive gifts from my father, big surprise there, he was always sending me expensive things to make up for a missed birthday, or game or High school graduation.

It took a total of two stops for gas, another to eat and go to the bathroom, and then one more stop to buy a small napsack to carry around, five hours later we pulled into my mothers driveway in Malibu. The sun was just beginning to set and I hadn't even turned off the engine when the front door burst open and my mother was running out the door to greet me.

"Lillian! Oh my I've missed you so much! My baby is home at last!"she cried and engulfed me in a bone-crushing hug, I suppose not seeing your only daughter for eight months could make you miss them, and vice versa as I dropped my bag and hugged my mother with equal force. "Oh it is so good to have you back home!"she whispered, when I heard another door shut, I released my mother and held out my hand to Marina as she came around the back end of the car, smiling shyly.

"Mom, I'd like you to meet my girlfriend, Marina Dawson,"my mother's smile faltered a moment at the mention of girlfriend, but she recovered and shook Marina's hand welcoming her and then helping take our bags to our seperate rooms as Marina and my mother began to chat a little bit about her major and plans. I rolled my eyes as I set my things down on my neatly made bed, my room had pretty much remained the same, most of my posters were gone, hung up at school, and a few of my books were missing along with my beanbag chair and personal items, an old alarm clock sat on my bedside table where my iPod station used to sit, and the blinds had finally been changed, and were open, looking out into the blood red and orange sky as the sun faded over the Pacific.

I shut my eyes and a flash of diamond-blue eyes and a dazzling smile crept into my mind, gorgeous sun-soaked brunette curls, flawless skin, that sweet southern lilt, harmonic voice. _Stop it, stop thinking about her NOW!_ I screwed my eyes shut and I felt two arms wrap around my waist from behind, I jumped.

"Sorry,"Marina apologized softly as she loosened her hold and I relaxed.

"S'ok, I was just thinking,"I leaned back against her and moved to find a more comfortable position from her bony shoulder jutting into my back.

"'Bout?"she asked sweetly. _The girl who stole my heart over three years ago and then broke it last summer, the girl who got away and now the reason as to why I'm dragging you along to ensure that I'm not alone...damnit, Truscott, shut the hell up!_

"Nothin, just wondering how Oliver will react when he sees I brought you home,"I lied, a small grin forming as I noticed my girlfriends posture stiffen, she never cared too much for Oliver, thinking he was a downright pervert, one of the exact reasons why she hated men so much.

"If I see any video cameras or flashes when that boy's around, there'll be a smackdown,"she only half-kidded. I laughed,

"Then you'd become one of the famous Malibu's most wanted!"I began humming the tune to "Bad Boys,"and she giggled.

"You're a riot, Lillian Truscott, but I love you for it,"I stiffened slightly at those three words, the words I could never return no matter how much I had tried to, they always managed to get stuck in my throat. I looked out my window as twilight set in and I felt her left hand clasp my own and I looked down to our entwined hands and saw our matching rainbow rings glitter in the dim light of the room. _You're fighting a losing battle, Truscott... you'll never love her the way she wants you to, let her go_... my heart demanded and I screamed internally for it to shut up.

Dinner was a rather noisy affair as my mother had made my favorite, venison roast with vegetables and a fresh apple pie for dessert. Marina and my mother seemed to get along very well, a fact for which I was surprised as I only heard maybe one or two little white lies that Marina made up to gain my mothers approval, I could only smirk into my meal. A knock at the door sounded and my mother looked suddenly stricken at me, I furrowed my brows in confusion as she went to answer. I heard a few heated whispers and I tried to lean over to get a view of the hall, I fell out of my chair when I finally caught a glimpse of the three people now standing in the kitchen archway, my mother... and my father, who had not been seen in this house for nearly a decade, hanging on his arm was a gangly thin peroxide-blonde with a chest that reminded me of Miley's Aunt Dolly, and the waist of a ten-year old, her green eyes gazing into mine with a sickly sweet smile.

"Lilly-bean! My, my look at you!"my father beamed, he had gotten shorter, or maybe it was just the fact that I'd grown in the seven years since he left my mother. He now wore wire-rimmed glasses that framed his boyish face and bright blue eyes that were unmistakenly mine, and his ash-blonde hair was peppered with gray at the roots near his temple, a small goatee forming on his chin. "You have gotten _so _beautiful, just like your mother was,"he laughed and I glared, noticing my mother stiffen at the term _was_. My mother sat back down without bothering to offer my father or his bitch a seat. "Dont just sit there, Lilly-bean, are you gonna give your old man a hug or what? It's been nearly five years-"

"Seven,"I snapped back, standing and shaking his hand roughly. His smiled faltered but he brightened as he turned to the anorexic woman on his arm.

"Lilly-bean I'd like you to meet my fiancee, this is Gloria, Gloria this is my Lilly-bean,"he beamed proudly. She held out her hand that had a very large and expensive diamond on it, I wondered whether to be a smartass and kiss the top, but I shook it kindly and grit my teeth to form a smile.

"What a rock you have there,"I motioned to her ring. "I'm surprised you dont have a krane to lift that finger."I heard Marina snort into her water. Gloria gave me a lopsided smile, scrunching her nose... if you could call that plastic a nose.

"Lovely, lovely, oh, and who is this?"my father asked, trying to turn the conversation around and motioning to Marina. Marina stuck out her hand to shake,

"Marina Dawson-"

"My girlfriend,"I spoke proudly. Marina seemed to brighten up at this and I noticed my mother even gave my father a sly smirk, Gloria looked horrified and my father looked as if he'd just swallowed a porcupine.

"Oh.. how lovely, Lilly-bean... I had...had no idea,"his smile faltered and his face grew red as he released Marina's hand.

"Yeah, well now ya do, so Dad, whats the occassion?"I asked.

"Occasion? I suddenly need an occassion to see my only daughter?"he asked briskly.

"Well... yeah, seeing as how you sorta left seven years ago to chase skirts around the country and never bothered to show up again until now, only sending cards or gifts, thanks for the convertable, by the way, real nice,"I winked at Marina, who giggled and went back to her dinner. My father went even redder, if that was possible, resembling a ripe tomato.

"Well,"he cleared his throat. "I see you all are eating, so we wont stay... you, you all have a nice time, uhm.. Spring Break.. right, love you dear.. bye!"he practically dragged his bride-to-be out the door. My mother snorted.

"Well then...Dessert anyone?"she asked.

--x--

**A/N:** -is hiding behind tank from angry fans as missiles of mystery meat are launched through the air- Review kindly and I'll make the next update longer I pro- -gets hit in the face with what resembles a fruitcake-...


	4. Hurt

**A/N:** -Sounds of Revelie play, displays white flag- Alright, alright! Here is a longer chapter for all your reviews. Thank you to the fans who have been patient and kind!!!

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_I tear my heart open and_

_I sew myself shut_

_My weakness is that I care too much_

_And my scars remind me_

_that the past is real_

_I tear my heart open_

_just to feel_ -Papa Roach "Scars"

Saturday passed with a flourish, I talked to Oliver for a bit before his flight took off, and Sunday was around before I could blink an eye. Marina and I were getting ready to head down to Rico's and meet up with him. I was pulling my shirt off of my head when I heard a wolf whistle from the door, I smirked.

"Look at you, all fancied up, I swear if I knew this boy wasn't a closeted gay, I'd be concerned to let you leave my sight with Oliver,"Marina smirked. I laughed,

"Oliver isn't gay, Marina, he dates women, he's even going out with this one girl he works with, Laurie? Lana? Something,"I rambled, looking for my surfboard wax, Oliver had agreed to wanna test out the waves today, I heard there was an excellent swell, Marina agreed to come watch, but refused to get anywhere in the water, I swear that she was a cat in a previous life, she absolutely hated getting wet, unless it was to shower, and boy could she shower her butt off, drain an entire hot water tank by herself.

"Keep tellin yourself that, love,"she mimicked as we left the house, board beneath my arm as we walked toward Rico's. She began to complain about the heat, having grown up primarily in the North, she wasn't used to the hot temperatures, but I stopped paying attention when I saw Oliver. His hair was shorter, and very unruly, he had a bit more build to him than the last time I saw him, and he was sitting there at Rico's shoving a meatball sub down his throat. Still the same ol' doughnut. I dropped my board and ran, throwing my arms around his neck, squealing,

"OLLIE!"I giggled. Oliver choked on a bite but recovered quickly and laughed, picking me up in his arms in a large hug and twirling me around.

"LILLY! Wow, girlfriend, _look_ at you! Oh you wont believe, I just designed the most adorable jean skirt for Ralph Lauren that I think would fit you're cute lil behind nicely,"I laughed as Oliver did a once over on me. Marina walked up, slinging my board around, trying to figure out how to carry it, I took it from her with a smirk, and introduced them.

"Well _hello_ there! Wow, Lilly's photos dont do you justice, m'dear, you are _ravishing!_"he smiled, kissing the top of Marina's hand. I had to bite my lower lip to control the urge to laugh as Marina looked on, her face crossed between terrified and wanting to smack Oliver into next millenium.

"Nice to meet you at last, Oliver,"she smirked, wiping the back of her hand on her shorts.

"Well, now that thats all said and done, ready to hit the waves? Where's your board?"he asked Marina.

"I dont surf,"Marina replied, buying a bottled water from Rico, who surprisingly, grew a foot taller since I last saw him, but he was still a pint-sized punk.

"What? Oh c'_mon_! You've gotta get out there and try it!"Oliver said as he grabbed his own board and we made our way out to the surf.

"No thanks, this little booty is stayin dry,"Marina challenged. Oliver shrugged and took his shirt off, throwing it next to the towel where Marina sat before grabbing his board.

"Race ya to the waves Lilly, loser buys lunch!"he took off. I tossed my flipflops off and took off after, excellent thing I ran everyday with my fitness group at Berkeley, as I caught up quickly and smashed myself to my board and hit an oncoming wave, feeling the cold saltwater sting at my body, goosebumps raised on my exposed skin, my breasts peaking beneath my bikini top, but my body soon grew accustomed to it and I began fighting the swell out to deeper waters where Oliver was vastly approaching an oncoming tide. I finally reached a breaking point between the surf and sat up on my board as Oliver got caught in a wave and then swam over to me, whipping his dripping dark locks from his eyes, spitting out the salty water with a smile.

"Man, I've missed this, shame you weren't hear for Christmas, Lil, you're mom really missed you,"Oliver said as we waited for another wave.

"I missed her, too, but I had a lotta work to take care of, I just couldnt come home, I'd never have gotten it done,"I hated lying to my best friend but I had a feeling he knew already.

"Have you heard anything from Miley?"my blood ran cold as Oliver dared question me about it. He knew what had happened on the beach, he had known I loved Miley dearly and I had told him over the phone what had gone on after he left, Miley had not contacted him either.

"No, why would I?"I said bitterly as I splashed a bit of water onto my shoulder. Oliver shrugged,

"Just curious, Lilly, you know you still love her, why do you deny it so much?"Oliver asked innocently.

"I dont love her!"I cried out, it was a lie. And he knew it,"she left us, Oliver, she left _me_, there on this very same beach, that night you left, and... and she _kissed me_, or at least, we kissed each other, and then she just ran, she didn't say anything but that she was sorry, and took off, out of my life." I felt tears spring up in my eyes. Oliver's hand on my shoulder was a small, almost irreplaceable comfort as I shed the tears and wiped my eyes. I then looked over to the shore where Marina was sitting... only she wasn't alone.

"Who is that?"I asked, I tried to figure out who she was talking to but they had they're back turned away, it had to be a woman because the hair was way too long even for a guy in Malibu. Wearing normal clothes, Marina seemed to be easily confiding to this stranger,

"I dunno, I cant see her, wanna head back?"Oliver asked.

"Nah, I might as well let her have some fun, since she wont surf, I know if the person becomes a problem she'll take care of it,"I said as I felt a pang in my heart. One thing that Marina and I had agreed on when we began our relationship was that there werent so many strings attatched, she was a reckless flirt and often became a bit too friendly with some of our other female friends at parties, and I hated how it would make me feel, I wasn't so much as jealous as I was stunned that she would keep me on a tight leash yet flirt helplessly with any woman in our college, making me feel insignificant, I believed that when you were with someone, you had to be with them. We'd nearly broken up once after I noticed her kissing another girl from my Biology lab at a keg party but she made it up and told me that she'd never do it again...

_"I dont see why you make such a big deal outta this, baby! It's not like we're married!"she had yelled._

_"No, we're not, but if you're going to be with me than be with me, dont go fucking every other girl on campus, if I'm not satisfying enough than break up with me already and go fool around!"I retorted hotly._

_"I guess the same should go for you then, Miss Put It All In!"she snapped back._

_"Whats that supposed to mean?!"_

_"It means, you tell me you want me to be faithful to you, but you're not even being faithful to yourself, I know you dont love me, Lilly, I see it in your eyes, whenever we have sex, you try and refrain from yelling anything but God! You wont even tell me that you're in love with me, so I cant help but wonder if your hearts really in this at all!"she hit the nail on the head. I stood there helpless._

I hated myself for it, but I took her back, cheating was something I never tolerated, because thats what caused my parents to split up, something that had broken my mothers heart and I didn't like it. But we agreed that flirting was okay, as long as it was always look and not touch, but it still made me feel angry, so I turned away and concentrated on a steep wave coming at us. I rode a few more until the sun began to lower in the sky, and my stomach growled from the lack of food consumed.

"Wanna go in and feed that monster?"Oliver joked, pointing at my bare stomach. I laughed as his own stomach grumbled in protest, his cheeks turned pink.

"I say its about time we go in,"I looked over to see that Marina was now still chatting away with the same person as before, the stranger had left for a little while but apparently returned, I was glad that Marina had something to take her mind off of but it was about time this stranger knew that she was off limits. I caught a wave back in toward the shoreline and waited a few moments for Oliver who'd decided to swim back on his board, I began to twist the water from my now tangled hair as Oliver and I made our way toward Marina. I stuck my board in the sand beside her, catching her attention.

"Hey babe! You have a good time?"she asked.

"Yeah, who's your friend?"I asked, I couldn't help but bite my tongue to keep the accusing note from my voice. She lifted her shades and I looked to the stranger, who now up-close, looked very familiar. The stranger stood, lifting her sunhat over her head and took off her shades... Oh. My. God.

"MILES!"Oliver yelped happily. I watched as my best friend engulfed the girl of my dreams in a large hug and twirled her around happily, Marina stood.

"She came to talk to me, she's really nice, Lilly?"she looked at me. My eyes couldn't believe what they were seeing however, and I barely understood what had been said. There was Miley Ray Stewart in all her southern glory, standing in a pair of pink flipflops, khaki shorts, a black tanktop and a white button blouse that was left unbuttoned and the sleeves were pulled up to her elbows, her wavy brown curls were pulled back into the messy ponytail, her smile hadn't changed one bit and those eyes, those _gorgeous _diamond eyes, like two bright aquamarine stones. Oliver released her from the hug and she smiled,

"Hey there, Smokin Oaken, been a while!"that sweet voice, still the same thick Tennessee drawl, I couldn't help but feel my throat tighten up and that knife in my gut twist, I felt sick. She was here, Miley Ray Stewart was standing here on the beach and the only thing that flashed through my mind other than how beautiful she was, was that memory of last summer...

_"Lilly, I-I dont, I'm so sorry..."_

Tears flooded my eyes as I saw her glance at me and give me a shy smile.

"Hey Lilly,"my heart thundered against my ribcage, disobeying the pain that my mind was making me suffer through. _Was that all she had to say? Nine months of nothing and all she can come up with is Hey Lilly?_ I felt the anger in my stomach boil and I blinked the tears away furiously, there was no way in Hell this could be happening. It was a bad dream.

"Lilly? You know her?"Marina asked. I stiffened, and let out a breath I hadn't realized I was holding. I stared back at Miley coldly and noticed her flinch just barely.

"This is Miley Stewart, she... she's a girl I went to school with,"I bit out, my heart was hammering in my chest, telling me to stop lying, I yelled at it to shut up and grabbed Marina's hand stiffly. "It was good seeing you again, Miley, c'mon Marina, see you Oliver,"I yanked her hand and grabbed my board and we walked back to the house, I ignored Marina's questions until we were safely at my house and in my room, I began changing, not caring that Marina was there.

"Lilly, what is the matter with you? Why'd you make me run off like that? That girl was really sweet, and-"

"It doesn't matter, I dont want you to speak to her ever again,"I retorted coolly. Marina stared at me as if I'd grown a tail,

"Ex_squeeze_ me?"she asked snidely. "Uhm, hon, I thought we went through this-"

"Marina, I dont care if you flirt with any girl on the beach, just not her, got it?"I snapped, I felt a fire raging in me and Marina must have noticed it because she instantly snapped her jaw shut of any retort that she'd planned to bite out. She nodded mutely as I grabbed a set of pajamas,

"Miley... that name sounds familiar,"Marina said quietly as I reached the doorknob, I froze,"It couldnt possibly be perhaps that you call that same name out in your sleep some nights,"I swirved around faster than Larry the Cable Guy on crank.

"What did you say?"I asked. Marina looked at me, her blue eyes like ice,

"You heard me, that name, Miley... you say that name in your sleep some nights after we go at it, you cry for her not to leave, you-you tell her you love her... she was more than just a girl you went to school with, wasnt she?"Marina asked, genuine hurt in her voice. I never spoke of Miley to anyone at school, I only kept one photograph of her and that was in my grandfathers bible in my dresser, which I know that nobody else has seen.

"Marina, it wasnt like that-"

"Then what was it like?"Marina snapped, hotly.

"She was my friend... my very best friend, she moved here when we were both in the seventh grade...,"I sighed and sat down. "She came from Tennessee with her dad and brother and I became her first friend because I was the only one who stood up for her while everyone else made fun of her for being the new kid and having an accent,"I smiled fondly at the memory. "We grew close and we basically became inseperable, we knew everything about one another, and I do mean _everything,_"I didnt dare mention Miley's secret life as the popstar, Hannah Montana. "Last summer when we all graduated, her Dad got a business offer in Europe and... she decided to go with him, the day that she left... well, I just-,"I sighed. I couldn't talk about this, not with Marina. _You might as well tell her, she's gonna find out sooner or later_, my heart demanded. _Shut UP!_ I so need to check in with a doctor for bipolar disorder...

"Were you two..?"

"No, we were friends, she dated that teen star Jake Ryan when he came to our school,"I said sourly.

"But you loved her,"Marina spoke solemnly. I shut my eyes, I couldn't bare to see the look on her face,

"Yes.. yes I did,"I admitted. I felt a weight fall off of my chest, I breathed in shakily, my feelings were beginning to go out of control.

"Do you still? Love her?"Marina asked. I shook my head, I blinked tears away and I shot up from my seat and ran for the bathroom. I couldn't take it.

I turned the shower on and locked the door, I began washing my body and then I saw the razor sitting on the shelf with my shampoo, I grabbed it and held it in my hands and stared at the raised white lines along the top of my right arm where I'd made scars, the one from last weekend scabbed over and starting to heal, I lifted the blade to the cut and began to pick away at the scab with the blade before reforcing the same wound open with the sharp metal, I hissed at the sting as the blood rushed to the surface of the wound and I washed it away with the hot water from the shower spray, watching as the blood flowed down my arm and mixed with the water, flowing down the drain, the mark I made was angry and red and I pressed it to my lips, placing a soft kiss there in hopes of apologizing to myself... to my heart which was certainly bleeding a lot more than this silly wound inside.

--x--

**A/N: **I know I know, very traumatizing, well, thats something that happens everyday, and ya gotta deal with it, dont worry though, there WILL be a happy ending as with all of my stories, for now though, I'm making it tough. Review and find out what happens next! -gets slapped with an egg to the face-...


	5. Moment of Weakness

**A/N:** Okay, again, thanks to everyone for keeping patient and reviewing my stories, I am LOVING it... here's a chapter for all your trouble!! Keep the reviews comin!

--x--

_Put your faith in what you_

_most believe in_

_Two Worlds, One Family_

_Trust your heart_

_Let fate decide_

_To guide these lives we see_ -Phil Collins "Two Worlds One Family"

It had been a full day since the beach incident, Oliver had tried to call and goad me out of the house but I wouldn't come out, I knew that he would somehow sneak Miley behind his back and I'd be forced to deal with her... and I dont think I'd ever be ready to face that fear. Marina had become a bit annoying with being cooped up in my house, with nothing but movies and music to listen to whereas I grew a bit distant, helping my mother around the kitchen and finally agreeing to get out of the house when my mom wanted to clean.

I headed down to Rico's with Marina and I ordered us a couple sandwhiches, my phone buzzed and I answered the text message from Oliver,

_I C U :-P_

_-Smokin' Oaken-_

I twisted in my seat and sure enough, Oliver was just down toward the shore waving, a goofy grin on his face, motioning for us to come over, I scanned the area and noticed that Miley wasn't with him. I shouldered Marina and she followed along,

"Hey there, I was wondering if you were gonna spend the rest of your break hermited up at your moms,"Oliver joked. I gave a small smile.

"Yeah, well, I have missed seeing her, ya know, but I'm here now!"I feigned happiness and shot Marina a look that told her not to say anything, she knew I was lying.

"Listen, can I just talk to you for a bit?"he stared pointedly at Marina, who shrugged.

"Sure, ya'll go on, I'm gonna eat this and catch up,"she said, fanning her sandwhich and heading back to Rico's. I stood there nervously rooted to the spot where Oliver stared me down like an overprotective parent.

"Lilly-"

"Oliver, no, I dont want to talk about it,"I snapped and began walking down the beach, pumping my legs into a brisk walk, Oliver had to jog to catch upto me.

"Lilly.. Lilly wait!"he grabbed my arm and turned me around. "Lilly, you should really stop being so childish about this-"

"_I'm _being childish?! Oliver, she left! She left us and didn't even TRY to keep in touch with us for nine months! And suddenly she is back and expects me to welcome her back with open arms? Forget it!"I stormed off, his hand clutched my arm again and I sighed. "Maybe I am being childish, Ollie,"my heart in my throat, I took a shaky breath, feeling my world spin and my emotions whirl out of control once more, my head was screaming at me to run. "But how can I not be? She hurt me,"I felt tears sting my eyes, the ground felt unsteady,"she _hurt_ me, and she just left." Tears were flowing freely now, it was hard to breathe, it was getting darker... was that possible?

"Lilly, maybe you should sit down-"Oliver's voice deepened and slowed. I ran, I felt the world spin faster, my breathing was coming in short, ragged puffs, tears, pain, my head screaming at me to stop, I saw a car as I entered the street, my feet froze, screeching tires, pain shooting through my body and a cry from Oliver. _Miley... _my world went black.

--x--

_"Lilly? Lilly sweetheart, please wake up,"_I heard the voice of my girlfriend near my ear. _"Lilly please? You cant leave me,"_My eyelids fluttered, I glanced and then pain shot through my head like an arrow and I groaned, snapping my eyes shut and blacking out again. What was she talking about? Leaving? I'm not going anywhere... am I?

_"Lillian, sweetheart, its your mother, come on now, I need you to wake up honey,"_my mothers voice floated in and out, tearfully. Why was my mother so upset?

_"Hey Lils, just came to check up on ya, you've been out a couple days now, you're gonna miss the great waves they're calling for today, c'mon you're really scarin us,"_Oliver's voice sounded genuinely worried. My eyelids fluttered again and I breathed deeply, I tried, I just didn't know why I couldn't wake up.

_"Lilly?"_that voice. _"Lilly, its Miley... look I know you dont want to see me right now, but I'm worried sick, come back to us Lilly, please come back_,_"_I felt a warm hand grasp mine. _"Lilly, if you can hear me, please wake up, squeeze my hand, yell at me, anything, I need you here Lilly, there is too much I still need for you to know, you never gave up on anything in your whole life, so fight, fight to come back, we need you here, _I_ need you here,"_Miley needs me? Well thats funny... I didn't think she needed anything from me. I felt her thumb carress the back of my hand and I twitched...

"That tickles,"I felt my mouth open and croak out the hoarse words.

"Lilly?!"I weakly opened my eyes. An angel was sitting before me, blue eyes shining down on me, tears leaking from them and a bright smile on her face.

"Am I dead?"I asked softly, my voice scratchy, my throat hurt. Miley smiled wider and tears fell from her eyes,

"No,"she laughed, then surprised us both by leaning in and pressing a soft kiss to my forehead. "But you damn near made us think you were, dont you ever do that again."

"Do what?"Oliver asked from the doorway, he looked to me and then gasped. His face lit up,"Lilly! You're awake!"he ran to me and tried to pull me into a hug best he could, I felt pain shoot through my leg as I tried to sit up and return it however, and I groaned. "Sorry, hey guys! She's awake!"he called out. Next thing I knew, my mother and Marina were in the doorway rushing to me, I was hugged, kissed and otherwise engaged in public displays of affection as I realized that I was sitting in a hospital bed, an IV hooked into my arm, my left leg in a cast all the way upto my thigh..._Wonderful, I'll have a great time trying to drive back upstate with this_, I thought darkly and noticed that my left arm was in a sling, but not casted, my wrist was bent at a funny angle and I figured it had probably been twisted in the accident... The accident? _I dont even remember,_

"What happened?"I asked after sipping a bit of water.

"You got hit by a car, you ran right out into the middle of the street,"Oliver explained. "I called out to you but by then you were sitting on the hood of Mr. Bentley's Mazda." I groaned, Mr. Bentley would probably be holding a lawsuit, the cheapskate, for damages to his car.

"Either way, you were rushed in,"my mom continued. "Your leg was broken in three different places, they had to put some pins in, and your wrist is sprained, and you were in a coma for three days, from the concussion on your forehead from hitting the windshield,"I lifted my hand to my forehead and noticed the bandage for the first time.

"Alright, whats this? One visitor at a time,"the nurse came in and scolded everyone. "Pick someone to stay and the rest please wait out in the hall." The nurse moved to check my vitals. My mom, Oliver and Marina all betrayed me and allowed Miley to stay, although during the rush of conversation, Miley had backed herself into the corner and watched from afar, I dared a glance at her and saw her face light up when I did.

"How're you feeling?"she asked. I scoffed,

"Like I got hit by a car,"I replied sarcastically. Her smile faded and I hated myself for doing so, but at the same time, I was still angry at her. The nurse left and we were alone.

"Lilly... I'm sorry,"she said slowly, walking over to my bedside carefully and then taking a seat near my legs but careful not to move my cast. It was then that I noticed the tears in her eyes, she fumbled with a bracelet on her wrist... _my lucky bracelet_.

"You're still wearing that thing?"I asked, staring at the bracelet on her wrist that I'd given to her the same day that I discovered her secret life as Hannah. She smiled sweetly and nodded, a tear escaping.

"I've never taken it off, it was my reminder that I had someone back here in Malibu that still loved me for who I was..."I looked away and stared at the wall, unsure of what to say. "Lilly... about last summer, I didn-"

"No, Miley,"I whispered, a bit harsher than I'd intended, she flinched.

"Lilly-"

"_No_, Miley... I dont want to talk about that, I know that I ruined our friendship... I know you're disgusted with me, I dont want to hear it from you.. it would hurt too much, so please, just leave it alone,"I felt the tears begin to fall down my cheeks, I didn't bother stopping them. I felt her grasp my arm, my good arm and I jerked it back when I realized that was the arm with my scars...but she held on and traced each scar with her index finger.

"You did this to yourself?"she asked.

"What do you think?"I avoided answering. I didn't need her to know how badly she was hurting me right now, how badly I wanted to rush into the bathroom and find something sharp and slice another scar into my skin.

"Why?"her voice cracked with emotion.

"It doesn't matter, Miley,"I shot back.

"Lilly, it _does_ matter, it matters a lot, I dont want you to hurt yourself,"she spoke sternly.

"Why would you care, Miley? You left nine months ago, you never even _tried_ to contact Oliver or me and tell us how you were, or ask me how I was doing, how I was _feeling_,"the tears fell faster and I tried in vain to turn my head further away into my pillow to muffle my cries, but my leg wouldn't allow me.

"Lilly, I'm sorry, I was scared..."

"Of what?!"I cried, turning to her. "What on Earth could possibly scare you SO much that you'd stop talking to me? What did I do wrong?"I hated the way she was looking at me, I hated the way I was probably looking right now, crying, my nose running, broken and battered, my heart the only wound that wasn't visible to show my true pain. I felt her hand release my wrist and cup my cheek.

"I was afraid of you, Lilly, but not because you did anything wrong, because I was afraid of what _I_ did wrong,"she whispered, wiping my tears away with her thumbs. I stared quizzically at her, sniffling and hiccuping as I tried to control my breathing.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that I was afraid that I'd ruined everything last summer, I didn't want to face you because I was afraid you'd reject me for what I did, for how I felt,"Miley explained. I felt my heart begin to hammer in my chest. "I was afraid of you because you were and still are the only person in this world that has enough of me to break my heart." She looked up into my eyes tearfully and it dawned on me like a skillet to the back of my brain...

_She loves me... she didn't run because she didn't love me, she ran because she thought I'd be disgusted with her... and I thought... Oh, God what on Earth have we done?_

"Miley, I-"she silenced me with a finger to my lips.

"Lilly, I'm in love with you, I have always loved you... and I'm sorry if you dont feel the same way then I'll understand, but I'm through pretending I dont love you when for the past nine months I've been aching to tell you whats in my heart, to tell you that I need you by my side, as a lover, and as a friend, I love you, Lillian Rose Truscott, the ball is in your court now and my heart is in your hands, you have to make the next move..."

My heart was thundering against my ribcage, I was surprised she couldn't hear it... What should have been the easiest decision of my life, now had me staring dumbfounded at the keeper of my heart... I would come to regret the next words out of my mouth,

"I can't..."and just like that, I shattered our souls.

--x--

A/N: Dun dun dunnnnn!! Another cliffie! -dodges flying fruitcake, tomatoes, mystery meat and monkeys- teehee... what will happen next? Review and find out!


	6. Fixed

**A/N:** Okay, after nearly being strangled by my onslaught of angry fans... not to mention my own lack of patience I'm going ahead and giving you the rest of the story! Enjoy

--x--

_Once in a lifetime means there's no second chance_

_So I believe that you and me should grab it_

_while we can_

_It can last forever and never get it back_

_It's our turn and I'm lovin' where we're at_

-Zac Efron & Vanessa Hudgens "Everyday"

_"I cant..."_

Did I seriously just utter those words? No.. I couldn't have... But the look on Miley's face told me different, I cant believe what just happened. What the hell is the matter with me? Miley's smile fell and I could almost feel her heart shatter to peices as her spirit broke and her eyes lost that light in them that I always loved putting there. Now it was extinguished, just like our dreams. Miley's lips faltered to give me a brave smile, and I saw the tears collect in her blue eyes.

"Well then, I suppose I better get going,"she rushed out and began to stand, I grabbed her wrist in a basic instinct.

"No, dont leave,"I whispered, choking on my own words. It was the beach all over again, but now it was my turn to break a heart.

"I think we've said all that needs to be said here, Lilly, I need to go,"she whispered hoarsely, her voice cracked and I noticed a tear drop onto the tile floor.

"Miley-"I whispered dejectedly. She turned and caught my eyes and I felt as if a thousand knives were piercing my heart from the longing and broken stare she was giving me. She moved close and cupped my cheek and shocked me as she leaned down and placed a chaste kiss to my lips, it lasted no more than a second, and yet she still managed to take my breath away.

"I'll love you forever,"she whispered and like that, she walked out of the room and out of my life... _again_.

"Lilly?"Oliver was standing in the doorway, his naturally soft brown eyes mixed with accusation and confusion. I sighed and leaned back, my mother was busy signing paperwork and Oliver sat by my side, Marina giving us our space and sitting just outside the room as I explained what happened.

"Why did you do that?"Oliver asked, slightly angry. "She loved you and you managed to break her heart all over again. Are you insane?"

"Sometimes I really do think I am, Ollie, but I cant _just_ be with her,"I sighed, I knew I was fooling myself but it was too late, the deed was done, and I was certain Miley'd never want to see me again.

"Thats bullshit, Lillian Truscott and you know it!"Oliver snapped quietly. "She loves you and you love her, why dont you just stop being a stubborn ass about it and go get her back?"

"_Because!_"I snapped.

"Because _why?_"he retorted, shooting up from his seat.

"Because I'm scared, Oliver! I'm scared to death, she hurt me so badly last time she left, and.. and apart of me was too afraid to just leap right back into her arms,"I cried. Oliver softened immediately, and sat back down.

"Lilly, c'mon, what do you have to lose? I mean, you're in love, thats the most powerful feeling in the world, and when you have someone who returns it... thats not something you just go and pass up like a used toy!"he said. I sniffled,

"I'm not passing it up, Marina loves me, and I-"

"You love her?"he asked, giving me that 'dont-even-try-telling-me-you-do-because-you-dont' look. I sighed.

"I dont know, but I'm with her, Ollie, she's with me, too and we're together and I'm not just gonna leave her- she deserves better than that!"

"And you think Miley doesn't deserve to have you? Because you're broken? Damaged?"Oliver challenged and I shut up. "Lilly, I've known you practically my entire life, and in all the time we've been friends I have known you to go and put others before yourself, even if it cost you your own happiness, but you have to be true to your heart here, Lils, is it really worth giving up a lifetime of love and happiness for a rocky relationship that probably wont even last you until your college graduation?"Oliver asked.

"Oliver, your mother is trying to get a hold of you,"our heads turned. My mother stood in the doorway, Marina behind her looking past right at me, I couldn't meet her eyes. "We've signed the papers and you're free to come home now, Lillian,"my mother explained as a nurse came in with a wheelchair at the ready. Oliver stuck around to help lift me into the chair.

"Go get that girl before she slips away, Lilly, you'll never forgive yourself if you dont,"he hissed into my ear before bidding me and my mother goodbye. I stayed silent most of the ride home, there were only a few days left before I had to make the trip back up to school, I'd have to let Marina drive my car, the thought scared me as my girlfriend was a leadfoot eccentric. Since my room was upstairs, I had a time trying to pick up my casted leg with my mom and Marina on either side of me helping me and get up where I collapsed onto my bed and my mother left us. Marina closed and locked the door before taking a seat on the side of my bed and giving me a look I'd only seen a couple times before; pure lust. She leaned down and pressed her lips firmly to my own and I tried not to fight it as her tongue forced its way into my mouth and dueled with my own, her hand crept under my shirt and I broke the kiss, breathless.

"Marina?"I asked quizzically.

"You almost died this week, I dont want to ever come that close to losing you without you knowing how I feel, baby so lay back and relax,"she whispered huskily into my ear as her hand wandered back beneath my shirt and grazed my bare breast, I shuddered.

"My mom-"

"-is perfectly fine with us, I asked her myself, at the hospital, I'm staying up here with you,"Marina smiled and bit down on a sensitive part of my neck, making me squeal softly and gasp as she fondled my breast and rubbed her thumb around my nipple, making it peak up and stiffen. I gasped as her other hand worked its magic and undid the zipper on my skirt, tugging it down, carefully around my cast, she rubbed two fingers against the crotch of my panties where I felt myself grow wet and thrummed with desire, I moaned as she bit on my collarbone, dragging her tongue along the small dip between my neck and shoulder. I tossed my head back and tried to enjoy the sensations, as Marina kissed me again, my eyes closed and I felt Miley's lips against my own, softer, more passionate, it was Miley's fingers rubbing against my center, making me want her more, it was Miley's hand teasing my breasts and rubbing my body down, Miley's thumb playing with my clit, flicking it again and again through the fabric of my panties. It was Miley's name that I called out as I felt my release,

"_Unghh! Miley!_"it was after I calmed down and opened my eyes that my dream became a twisted nightmare as my girlfriend stared down at me with sad blue eyes, not Miley.

"You _do_ love her,"she choked, part angry, the other half, upset as tears began to stem in her eyes. My eyes widened-

"Marina-"

"No,"Marina jumped up from the bed and crossed the room. "I cant do this, I cant be with you Lilly, if your heart really does belong to another."

"Marina, please-"I begged, I couldn't believe she had the nerve to tell me off for this after all we'd been through.

"Lilly, I _heard_ you,"she cried softly. "I heard you speak about her with Oliver in the room, I heard how you said you loved her, Hell even before we came here, you'd cry out her name in your sleep, and now... now I know the truth, you're still in love with her."

"Marina, I'm with you,"I said softly, meekly. I knew it was no help.

"You're with me because you know that I wont leave you, Lilly, you're with me because I'm your hearts insurance, you're with me because I cant break your heart," Marina said sternly, tears coming down her cheeks. "I cant break your heart because your heart was never in it, your heart belongs to her, it always has, and if its not mine, then I can't be with you,"she whispered softly, she walked back over to me and kissed me softly. "You need to stop trying to fix the world, Lilly, and fix yourself instead, make yourself happy." She walked out of the room... _What am I? Some sort of plague to beautiful women?!_

--x--

I woke up the next morning and made my decision, I got dressed and called Oliver up.

"_Hello?_"his groggy voice answered.

"Oliver? I need you to take me to Miley's,"I said. I heard him groan but then quickly become alert,

"_Uh, Lilly, I dont think that's gonna be easy..._"he said. I felt a nagging fear in the back of my mind.

"What are you talking about, ya doughnut? Get over here and pick me up, I cant walk to Miley's and wheelchairs dont do well in sand,"I argued.

"_No, Lilly, I mean... Miley's leaving, she called me up about three hours ago and told me that she had a plane to catch to Boston at twelve-thirty..._"dread filled my gut and I checked my watch, it was eleven-twenty.

"Oliver... I need her,"I whispered desperately, I felt tears in my eyes and I knew he knew what I meant.

"_Be ready to roll then, see you in five,_"his line went dead and I pushed myself harder than I should have as I managed to get down the stairs without falling. Marina was on the couch snoozing, and I immediately hoped that I was making the right decision, but my heart told me I was. My mom was gone, a note telling me she'd left to grab groceries. I grabbed the wheelchair from the closet and managed to make it out onto the paved driveway and sat, waiting until Oliver drove up in his mothers accessible minivan, he proved an anonymous amount of strength by lifting the chair up and into the passenger side, I clicked myself in and Oliver high tailed it to LAX. We reached there right at noon and Oliver fought for a parking spot and then grabbed my chair and we were playing roller derby as he sped us through the airport doors and we fumbled trying to figure out which flight and gate she was at.

We reached the gate and paused at the glass doors that seperated family from the people flying, I looked but Oliver noticed her first. There she was, sitting alone in the lined rows of chairs that people waited in before boarding, her iPod plugged into her ears. _Good thing I like a challenge_. I began knocking on the glass wall, hoping to cause a disturbance so hopefully Miley would notice everyone beginning to see the freak in the wheelchair banging the wall like a retarded Britney Spears. It worked, people began to stare and point as I banged on the glass and Oliver joined in, we began yelling out Miley's name.

"MILEY! MILEY LOOK UP!!"I cried, I noticed one of the security guards talk on his dispatch radio and shoved past, bumping straight into Miley, _yes!_

She looked up at the rude intrusion and then noticed the line of people staring and looked up and her mouth opened, forming a perfect 'o'. I smiled brightly.

"MILEY! MILEY IM HERE! MILEY!"I hollered though I knew it wasn't much use, I think these walls were soundproof. Oliver kept motioning for her to come while I continued to bang on the glass.

"MILEY I LOVE YOU! PLEASE! DONT LEAVE ME AGAIN!"I cried out hopelessly, her eyes widened as she either heard me or was able to read my lips. And then, a bright smile formed on her face as people began to cheer us both on and she stood, taking her iPod and tossing it into her carry-on, she ran around for the gate, the security officer telling her to go back but she dodged his arm and ran straight for me.

"Miley!"I cried happily. She paused, her smile fading a bit as she neared me.

"What are you doing here, Lilly?"she asked timidly. I took her hand in my own and used it to help pull myself up out of the chair, she grabbed my waist with her other hand and I put my weight onto my right foot to balance myself before looking deeply into those beautiful diamond eyes.

"Something that I should have done a long time ago,"I whispered and closed the distance between us before Miley could say anything. The world around us dissolved, and melted away as our kiss deepened, I felt like I was drowning helplessly into an abyss of softness as her tongue grazed my lip and I happily gave her access, massaging her tongue with my own, she tasted faintly of tears and bluberry muffins. I felt her whimper in a slight protest as I broke the kiss with another light peck and touched our foreheads together. She stared into my eyes and I could see that light return.

"I love you, Miley Stewart, and I'll be damned if you're trying to leave me ever again,"I flashed her a charming smile. She sniffled as tears welled in her eyes, and shook her head in response.

"Never again, I promise,"she smiled and kissed me again. Our happiness was intruded by one of the guards. But I refused to let Miley go,

"Miss the plane's boarding, your bags have been taken off,"he handed her her black suitcase with a smile and a wink.

"Thanks Jerry,"she grinned. I raised my eyebrow in confusion.

"Yeah, thanks Jerry,"Oliver smiled. My head twisted to our other best friend and then to Miley who merely smiled.

"You knew I would come?"I asked. Miley gave me a sly grin.

"Well, I was _hoping_ you'd show up,"she answered.

"I'll never leave you again, my heart is yours Miley, it always has been, please dont break it,"I whispered, a tread of fear lining my voice, she kissed me once more.

Oliver dropped us back off at Miley's old house that was in the middle of Robbie Ray trying to turn it back into a house rather than Jackson's bachelor pad that Jackson had turned it into while visiting during weekends off campus in the nine months. Robbie Ray waved at us before Miley helped us upstairs and I sat back on her bed and relaxed. I shut my eyes and smiled as I thought about how crazy this whole Spring Break had been, I'd deffinitely have a story to tell my creative writing class when I got back. Of course the thought of leaving Miley here in Malibu saddened me but she ensured me she was already putting in applications to start some courses there next semester. Behind my eyelids I noticed the room grew darker and I peeked to see Miley pull down the shades, her room hadn't changed much, Jackson pretty much left it alone, but there were still some boxes left from where Miley hadn't unpacked.

"So what happened with the year-long Europe tour?"I questioned, to break the ice. Miley smiled over at me and began walking toward the bed.

"It kinda grew boring after Spain and... I missed you,"she said softly, giving me a cheesy smile as she crawled onto the matress and leaned over me, I wrapped my good arm around her neck and pulled her down for a sweet kiss.

"Well next time you go to Europe, you wont have to miss me, because I'll be coming along as Lola,"I whispered huskily as Miley began to kiss my cheeks, my nose, my temple and then made me gasp loudly as her teeth found my earlobe and tugged softly.

"M-Miley?"my voice came out an octave higher than usual. I felt my body tingle with anticipation, something that never happened at all with the other women I've been with.

"Shh, relax,"Miley whispered. "I want to love you, Lilly, I want to try and make up for all the time we've lost,"she kissed me soundly. Before I knew it, both of us were touching everywhere, skin on skin, I'd taken a chance and taken my sling off and carefully kept that arm on her waist, careful not to move my wrist as I stroked her bare back, her breasts touched my own and I hissed in pleasure at the feel of how her whole body seemed to melt into mine, I just wish the cast was off of my leg already.

Miley trailed her tongue up my abdomen and beneath the underside of my breasts before latching onto a nipple and sucking softly until it pebbled. I moaned as she softly blew on it, causing it to perk even higher and then watched as she pressed soft kisses along my collarbone and I lifted my good hand up to cup her cheek and kiss her again, I couldn't get enough of her lips. She broke the kiss and grasped my arm softly, turning it to where she noticed the white scars on my arm, she locked eyes with me and delicately pressed her lips to each scar, kissing each one. I felt my throat tighten,

"I did that for every single time I thought of you,"I felt a tear cascade down the side of my face. She leaned up and brushed it away.

"Thats why there are so many,"she said matter-of-factly, I nodded.

"I love you, Miley."

"I love you back,"she smiled.

I lowered my head and used my arms to push her up and I latched onto a dark nipple, teasing, tasting, memorizing every detail and whimper of pleasure that I caused as we explored one anothers bodies that afternoon, again and again. Cries of ecstacy and moans of our names flying from our lips like prayers on the wind. We were together, our broken hearts and shattered souls put back together, no longer damaged, but renewed. Tommorow is never guaranteed, and I know now that every moment spent angry or sad is a moment of happiness that you can never get back. But with Miley by my side, I knew that I could make up for lost time, as long as she was mine.

**FIN**

--x--

**A/N:** Okay, I know, that was an EXTREMELY cheesy ending but I felt like I deserved that little bit for all the angst I was forced to write... -dodges banana- okay... I _wasn't _forced, but still! Hope you enjoyed! Dont forget to leave some kind of feedback!!


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